September 9th, 2006

-- Nathan Speaks of Laying Lynette to Rest --

Dear friends,

Lynette rested quietly in our home for 40 hours after her death.  The House was filled with joy and peace during that time.

A few minutes after Lynette passed from this life, the Archbishop arrived to pray and grieve with us.  He placed a beautiful olive wood cross in Lynette's hand and sang the Trisagion prayers for the departed.  I then spent a short time alone with Lynette.  She had fallen asleep but she was still very much present.  I again spoke to her of my love and how I would miss her.  I took a beautiful delicate pink Rosebud from one of the vases of flowers and placed it in her hand next to the cross.  The flower added a splash of color against the white linen in which she was clothed.  I had intentionally dressed her in white in her last days, thinking of the spotless white robes of baptism.  Through her final confession and absolution she had returned to that state of innocence before our Lord.

After placing the flower in Lynette's hand I sang "rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice" and "this is the day that the Lord has made I will rejoice and be glad in it".  I was filled with a profound sense that this was a time for joy and that it was my privilege to rejoice.  Lynette and I have grown immensely in our love for one another over the past 20 months.  What had been a deep and sincere love grew much deeper and richer through her illness.  We had found one another in a much more profound way just as we were being separated.  In this new deeper experience of love I was able to surrender her to the embrace of our Lord with joy.  My tears also flowed, tears of sadness, tears of loss, but not tears of despair.

In the first half hour after Lynette's death, an amazing thing happened to her countenance.  All the lines of care distress and pain were smoothed away and a beautiful smile appeared.  There was no external intervention to arrange her face.  A profound beauty shone forth.  The photographs capture only a fraction of the joy and peace that radiated from her.

I left the room and began to make phone calls, to inform different ones who have supported us so faithfully on this journey that Lynette had fallen asleep in the Lord.  As I was doing this, Lynette's sister and several other women who are very dear to her began preparing her body.  They washed and anointed her with holy oil before dressing her in a beautiful pale yellow gown.

During this time I was also working on arrangements regarding the funeral.  The normal custom in Albania is that the burial take place within 12 to 24 hours.  This is necessary because embalming and refrigeration are not available.  Because a number of people were planning to travel from the United States and Kosovo for the funeral we wished to delay the burial an extra day.  In order to do this I thought that it would be necessary to send her body to the morgue for refrigeration.  I was not at all happy about this but it seemed unavoidable.  When our dear friend Prokopi, who blessed us by making many of the funeral arrangements, went to pick up the casket they asked if he would like a refrigeration unit to go with it.  We had no idea that this was available in Albania.  This unit with a glass top fit over the top of the casket making it possible to refrigerate the body as it lay at rest in our home  This was a great blessing to us.

As word spread of Lynette's home going, people began to arrive at the house to give their condolences and pay their respects.  Metropolitan John of Korca left immediately from his sea upon hearing the news to make the 3 1/2 hour drive to support us at this time of loss. Dear friends and family members divided the nighttime hours into shifts and held continuous vigil, readings Psalms and singing at Lynette's side.  Every person who came was profoundly struck by the beauty of her countenance.

After a very emotionally intense day the Lord graciously granted a good night of rest to the children and me.  On Monday morning I went to the village cemetery of St Vlash to choose the grave site.  They granted us a beautiful plot slightly removed from the other graves and next to a cemetery flower bed which we will be allowed to develop as we wish.

When I returned home Metropolitan John came with several priests to sing the Trisagion service.  Fr.  Martin Ritsi arrived from the United States in the afternoon.  He had left home 15 minutes after receiving my call regarding Lynette's passing in order to catch the last possible flight which would bring him to Albania in time for the funeral.  He was a great blessing in helping to coordinate the service.

I rose early on Tuesday morning to spend precious time taking leave of Lynette before visitors began to arrive.  With a few of those who had kept a vigil through the night and at times by myself I passed about 90 minutes sitting or standing by the casket gazing on the beauty of her face.  At times tears flowed but the large resurrection icon and the joy and peace of her countenance were constant reminders that he has trampled down death by death and granted life to those in the tombs.

Throughout the morning many visitors had congregated around her body singing "Christ is risen" and other hymns of joy and  victory. At about 10:30 a.m. the refrigeration unit was removed from the casket giving family and loved ones the opportunity to kiss her brow and say farewell.  Tristan and Katherine made beautiful cards with love notes for Mommy.  Tristan placed his in the coffin, but Katherine wanted me to keep hers to help us remember Mommy.

The funeral procession of three buses and many cars departed for St.Vlash about 11 o'clock.  When we arrived there were already many people there who had come independently.  Lynette's brothers and other willing hands carried the casket from the gates of the monastery into the church where a huge resurrection icon was placed at its head.  The service was conducted beautifully in English and Albanian by the Archbishop assisted by Metropolitan Ignatius of Berat and Metropolitan John of Korca together with a number of priests from Albania and the United States.

As we emerged from the church for the short walk to the cemetery a brisk wind was blowing.  It had been threatening rain that morning as we drove to St. Vlash but now the threat was gone as only the wind which cooled and invigorated the procession remained.  Lynette always liked a stiff breeze and it was appropriate for her final journey.  The choir sang Christ is risen and other joyful hymns as we carried her body to its resting place.

At the graveside the final prayers were said and dirt was sprinkled on the coffin.  Then it was lowered into the ground.  I was very struck by the fact that the lid was not nailed or screwed on.  It was simply set in place.  I do not know if this is normal practice in Albania and at first I thought it was an oversight which needed to be rectified then I reflected that that box is only her temporary resting place.  Therefore it is appropriate that the lid be left loose to facilitate the resurrection.

As the dirt was filled in over the coffin we stood and sang, Amazing Grace, It Is Well with My Soul, Christ Is Risen!  and many more.  Tears flowed but joy was in the air.  As we left the graveside a line formed of people coming to offer their condolences.  I greeted each with "Christ is risen!".  I truly had the sense of celebrating her heavenly birthday together with these dear friends.  The love and kindness in their faces was a true blessing to me.

After the burial the archbishop hosted a luncheon for more than 150 of the guests at the seminary dining room.  It was a beautiful event at which the spirit of joy and celebration continued.  Lynette's family members and other guests spoke briefly giving greetings and thanking the Albanian people for their love and hospitality.