February, 2005

“We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.” II Cor. 4:8-10

Little did I know, when I wrote in our last newsletter of the amazing lessons I was learning from II Corinthians, that within two weeks of writing, I would find myself “pressed, perplexed, and struck down” in a new way.

Unexpected diagnosis

On December 15, I was diagnosed with breast cancer by our co-worker in Albania , Dr. Charles Linderman, just two days after discovering a painful and swollen lymph node under my arm. Dr. Linderman urged us at that time to seek treatment in the States within a month. Thankfully, my parents live just 30-minutes' drive from the famed Mayo Clinic in Minnesota , so we opted to stay with them and seek treatment at that facility. This was a great blessing as we did not have to waste precious time trying to figure out where to go for medical care, nor did we have to worry about where to live during our six-months' stay in the States.

Did I have any clue that I was ill? No, I did not, although I had been suffering from some rather intense back pain, which has since been found to be a malignant tumor in my spine.

By the grace of God, Nathan and I were able to respond calmly to the news of my cancer. Of course, it was a surprise, but perhaps not a shock. It was as though we had been prepared for it through some rather challenging experiences in Albania over the past two years. For us this became the next stage of our journey--a “yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death” part of the journey, perhaps, but not a sudden and terrible detour, that would tear us away from what we considered to be our mission. Our mission now became walking by faith through cancer--a wonderful opportunity to experience the sufficiency of God's grace in a time of great difficulty. As Nathan and I said to each other at the time, “Now we have to live everything we've ever preached to others!”

Two weeks to pull ourselves together

The two weeks between diagnosis and departure for the States were very intense. Nathan needed to find others to take on some of his responsibilities during his absence. I left for Greece to meet Archbishop Anastasios, who was spending some weeks in Athens , and also to check the press proofs on my book. During that period, we also had to decide what to do with our house and belongings and to pack all that we would need for six months. Fortunately, a family on our team volunteered to move into our house and sublet it for six months. That was a great relief to us, as we really didn't have time to pack up the whole house and put things into storage.

Although we knew we needed to depart quickly for the States, we decided to spend Christmas in Albania with our missionary team and Albanian friends in order to encourage them and to celebrate with them this important feast of our Lord's birth, an occasion when missionaries often get homesick.

The love and prayers that were showered on us by those in Albania were deeply moving. I deemed the whole experience of being ill worth it just to see how people came together with such love and care for me. “I never knew how much I loved you until now,” said one of our Greek co-workers. Similar sentiments were expressed by so many, and I was deeply touched by them all.

On December 28, we left for the States and moved into the newly finished basement in my parents' home. My father had just completed work on the space a few weeks earlier. It was almost as though he had been anticipating our coming. On December 30, I had the first of what would be many, many visits to Mayo Clinic.

Treatment and Prognosis

Six weeks have passed since then, and I have been poked, prodded, anesthetized, sliced, stitched, aspirated, drained, biopsied, weighed, hospitalized, radiated--and the list of adjectives grows each week. I had a full mastectomy on the left side, and 22 lymph nodes were removed. Cancer was found in most of those lymph nodes, and a malignant lesion was discovered in my spine. This tumor was treated with two weeks of radiation therapy, which was completed the end of January. I have been suffering from some side affects of the radiation, most particularly extreme fatigue and indigestion. I have started the next stage of treatment, which is hormone therapy to block the production of estrogen in my body. (This form of cancer is estrogen fed.)